![](data:image/png;base64,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The memories are experienced as real, even if they didn’t ‘actually happen’. This does
not mean their effects are any less real. Psychological-based identities are no less
real than spiritual ones.
The memories and 'knowings' you have of your kintype may be fabricated from an
internal perspective, and the fiction remains fiction, but the identity is still very real.
The experience remains real and valid regardless of the explanation, even as the fiction
remains fiction. These two ideas can and are coexisting in this fashion. They do not
contradict each other. Practicing to hold these views at the same time can help you have
a healthier outlook on fiction, fandom, your source and your relationship to those things.
Whether or not either of these example outlooks work for you, being able to hold ‘my
identity is real and valid’ and ‘according to the consensus reality this is just fiction and
not real and I have to acknowledge this reality to engage with others harmoniously’ will
help reduce stress and give you better tools to handle your beliefs.
Two opposing ideas can be held at the same time, one is consensus reality, and the other
is your personal reality. They do not have to be antagonistic to each other, and you can
find ways to put them in equilibrium without dismissing one or the other.
On Punishment Not Being Constructive
Punishing yourself or others does not undo harm. The harm still happened, and it cannot
be undone. Punishment only serves to indulge the punisher's desire of causing harm.
It is more constructive to build internal motivation to not do harm and give people tools
to do better in the future and attempt reparations instead.
One example of a very base internal motivation has been provided below:
People dislike it when others are cruel to them or otherwise hurt them. When you cause
harm to them, they will associate you with that harm and think negatively of you.
If they are not the ones harmed but they see you causing harm they may wonder if you
will turn on them later. They may also have sympathy for those who are being harmed
and feel upset. This then makes them think negatively of you.
When people think negatively of you, they are less likely to willingly help you, which
means you have to exert far more energy in getting what you want from them if you can
at all.
People who are not thinking negatively of you and instead think neutral-to-positively of
you will then proceed to be more likely to help you get what you want.